My sweet Alice Jolene was born 2 years ago today. Last year in the midst of getting Olivia home and settled and making sure she was breathing, coping with the pains and memories of the birth of my sweet angel was passed over. I think part of me did it on purpose, thinking that if I ignored it, it would go away. Well here we are again and the pain is still real and the longing to be with her is even more now. I miss her every single day, I wish for her and want for her every day. There are so many what ifs and why nots that it's hard. You may think that this is not healthy and maybe it's not, but it's real.
Happy birthday sweet Alice, I love you so much and I hope you get to have birthday parties in heaven because you sure do deserve one.
I am eternally grateful for being able to know that my Alice will be mine forever. Knowing that if I work hard doing the things that I know to be true I can be with her again. I am not convinced that she is where she needs to be, but in time I will get there and in time I will be with her. Someday I will have all my children with me and that day my heart will be whole again.
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