14 days of Influenza...

 Well our house was infected! Infected with influenza! We all learned something (which can count for 30 before 30: learn something new). Here it is, we all say we have the flu and more often than not we don't really have a strand of influenza. We have some virus that is making us feel crappy, but influenza is more intense.

 Intense enough to put my sweet girl in the hospital and back on oxygen. :( She is now on day 14 of being sick and we are still going. It was scary and awful to see her this sick. I woke up one morning and she just laid there, no response to me, limp and gray and she would not move. It was mortifying and heart breaking and let's just say I have cried a lot the last two weeks. One because my biggest fear is that she will die before me and it was so real. The reality that she is still fragile and susceptible to this nasty world is so scary, the reality that I cannot save her from everything is terrifying to me.

 This bloody bug is intense enough to bring this mom right to bed also. And let's just say not sleeping and having this does not go well together. I have not been a very good sleeper since Miss Olivia came home because she has always had breathing issues, but when they are legitimate I have a problem, like I have maybe slept 1-3 hours a night for the last 10 days.

 She is on the mend though. She doesn't need oxygen all day, just when she sleeps. She is playing and eating and being sassy again. She is totally getting better and I am so happy. Happy that her little body keeps fighting and fighting. Happy that she is a fighter and we have so many loved ones that pray for her. She is buoyed by your strength. Thank you so much.

 I sort of feel like we lost 2 weeks of our life, like we have been trapped and now that we are getting better we have to figure out how to get back into the real world. It's a little bit weird and crazy.

But, we made it. We have learned more about influenza, we have learned more about our little miss and we have been reminded that we are surrounded by the kindest most wonderful people a family could ask for. Thank you for the meals, the gifts, the prayers, the text and calls, the oils, blessings, and good energy. We feel blessed and we love you all.

30 Before 30

30 Before 30

Go to a new temple 

Attending the temple more is really important to me this year. It has been a very hard transition from no children on this earth to a child here. Not only the normal transition of becoming parents, but the intense anxiety I have leaving Olivia. That has been something that no one could prepare me for and really it is something that is very hard for me to explain. But, now that she is 3 years old and has been 3 for awhile now I am trying to find ways to subside that anxiety and gain the blessings and knowledge of temple attendance. 

So, that is a little reason behind this 30 before 30 bucket list item and a few more that I have on there dealing with temples.
This bucket list item was to go and attend a new temple. This temple is the remodeled Ogden, Utah temple. We were able to go with Tyler and Jessica for Jessica's birthday and it was fabulous, beautiful and amazing. I learn more every time ago, I learn about myself, the ordinances and covenants and so much more. I have a strong testimony of temples and what they do for us here on the earth and those that have left it. It is a place that I feel so close to my sweet children in Heaven and feel peace that I cannot feel any where else. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true and I am happy to say that I belong to it! 

30 Before 30

30 Before 30
Cook With Olivia

On of my 30 before 30 bucket list items is to cook with Olivia more. Allowing her to be with me as I cook and bake does a couple of things for me. One it allows me to have fun and not have to have everything perfect. She brings a lightness to all things and this is so good for me. I do not want her to grow up and wonder why I never did anything with her.
Cooking with me also allows me to share my love of cooking and sharing my food with others. This is a passion and a love that took me a long time to share and not be self conscious about.
Also I love teaching her things. I want her to know how to cook and feed people. No going to college not knowing how to cook, no way. She will be the best cook in her dorm. :)