Bless This Mess: A message of hope...

Bless This Mess: A message of hope...

Read this post and thought it was worth spreading around.
Thank you Melissa for being so wonderful and amazing. What a strong testimony she has and because she shares it, it can help ours.
Love you and your wonderfulness.

GRAYDIN

 I know this is a belated post, but I would feel horrible if I never did one.
On November 30 Graydin would have been 4 years old! I cannot believe it's been that long. I have many wonderful friends who have 4 years and I LOVE them so much. I love to watch them and wonder how Graydin would interact with them, sometimes it just seems like he would fit right in.
What an amazing son I have and I love him more and more each day. He has taught me so much and his strong spirit many days is what pulls me through my days. He is my strength and I love him so much. You know, I prayed to have a boy first for many years (before I got married) and Heavenly Father answered those prayers, not in a way I would have chosen, but truly in a way I wouldn't change now.
I love you my sweet angel, God bless you until you are in my arms again.

ALICE

 My sweet Alice Jolene was born 2 years ago today. Last year in the midst of getting Olivia home and settled and making sure she was breathing, coping with the pains and memories of the birth of my sweet angel was passed over. I think part of me did it on purpose, thinking that if I ignored it, it would go away. Well here we are again and the pain is still real and the longing to be with her is even more now. I miss her every single day, I wish for her and want for her every day. There are so many what ifs and why nots that it's hard. You may think that this is not healthy and maybe it's not, but it's real.

 Happy birthday sweet Alice, I love you so much and I hope you get to have birthday parties in heaven because you sure do deserve one.

I am eternally grateful for being able to know that my Alice will be mine forever. Knowing that if I work hard doing the things that I know to be true I can be with her again. I am not convinced that she is where she needs to be, but in time I will get there and in time I will be with her. Someday I will have all my children with me and that day my heart will be whole again.

Playing and Moving

 Olivia loves playing with her toys and she is getting around so much now. Above she is sitting up like a pro!

 Happy Girl!

 At the end of October she learned how to get around enough to get stuck!

Our friend Katie let us borrow this and Olivia is still trying to figure it out.

September

September was a good month. We got into our new house and was settling in, getting used to not managing apartments. The following pictures are of Olivia. The change in housing has also changed Tayce's work schedule and he is gone a lot, so it is Olivia and I a lot. Luckily Tyler comes to visit us. 

Olivia loves to watch out the window, especially if the neighbor kids are out playing. She just talks away and tries to get their attention, it's cute. This was new to her, she didn't have windows she could do this with in the apartment.

Since Olivia has learned to roll she's leaning to get around a little and she is loving to play with her toys a lot more.

She also loves to get my phone, she's pretty sneaky.

LOVE this girl!

There is a little attitude for you.

Sometimes Tyler comes over for his lunch break and eats dinner with us. This night Olivia was very interested in his food. He shared, but she wanted to get all of it out.

She must have liked that! :)

Oh the many sleeping poses this little one has.

Olivia loves fruit leather and fruit ropes. They are messy, but she loves them!

What a cute girl, in the outfit Grandpa got her.

Slacker!

I totally have been a slacker. I won't make any excuses, I just didn't feel like it. Other things seemed more important. Tonight I am having a hard time going to sleep so I figured I would catch up a little.

TYLER and OLIVIA's Birthday Party!
(September 1, 2012)

 Tyler and Olivia's birthday cakes made by my mom and I (mostly my mom).

 We had so many good friends come and support us on this day. It was Labor Day weekend, so we knew it would be hard for many, but they came. What great friends we have.

 Blake and Caleb manning the grill! Thanks MaLynda for letting us borrow it!

 Owl cupcakes for everyone (and batman ones). It was fun making those!

 Oh there is my brother! The big 24! And Tayce bought him trick candles.

 And the birthday girl! She was a little concerned we put that whole thing on her plate. She looked at us and looked at the cake for a minute.

 She slowly checked it out.

 Was not thrilled by the the taste or texture...

 But, eventually she got over it. :)
It was a nice weekend and a lot of fun. My mom and Tay's parents were able to come. It was great and we loved it, it's crazy that it is already November!

August 28th

ROOM 7
Today 1 year ago I met my beautiful Olivia Renae. 

Olivia and I went to the NICU today, some thought it was crazy to do so, but it turned out good. Some of her favorite nurses and NICU staff were there and as they were playing with her I walked into her room, room 7. A flood of emotion came over me and as I stared at the empty bed remembering the first time they rolled me in and seeing her so fragile and small tears ran down my cheeks. What a ride we have been on, a ride that in the words of Hilary Weeks have been "a beautiful heartbreak."
The journey of marriage and starting a family have been far different than I supposed. I thought husbands were grumpy and "old" people didn't have friend and that husbands told wives what to do. I thought starting a family was one action that wild teenagers did and managed so it has to be easy for me. Well I was wrong. Husbands are supposed to treat there wives like queens and mine does and starting a family for us hasn't been so easy. But, now we are here celebrating Olivia's 1st birthday!

What a gorgeous baby! Happy birthday my sweet Olivia, thank you for allowing me to be your mother and loving me in a way I have dreamt of for many moons. The moment I knew girls had babies I wanted one and now I get one to keep here. Thank you for making a dream come true and bring light into my life that very few babies have ever done. Thank you for making me want to be a better person, I love you, you are my sunshine.

Happy birthday to you Olivia, Uncle Tyler gave you ice cream for you birthday. You are so spoiled.

We got to go to Becka's princess party and you LOVED it and on top of Brenda throwing the best parties ever, Beau and MaLynda was there, two of your favorite people.

Beautiful princess, my miracle girl!

Today at the NICU Olivia got to see Dr. C, he was there when I delivered Olivia and helped save her life. Thanks Dr. C! The other 3 babies are all other NICU miracles!

Happy happy birthday Olivia, thanks for hanging on!

The Ramblings in My Head

So folks I am on the home stretch with my managing apartment career and it's great. But, let me tell you my brain is crazy. There are moments when I feel like, did I make the right decicion...
THAN
knock knock
"Here's my key, I'm moved out"
"Did you follow the checkout procedure?"
"I don't know how"
"Did you get a check out sheet from the laundry room or online?"
"I didn't know about it, no one told me, how was I supposed to know, I don't know how to do it."
"I put a flier on your fridge reminding you."
"THERE WAS NOT FLIER, I DIDN'T GET ONE."
"Oh, interesting. Well it says it in your contract."
"FINE, GIVE ME MY KEY, I WILL CHECK OUT"

So I remember why, than I start working and talking to amazing students that I love and I think what if I should stay...
THAN
ring ring ring
"Cedar Creek Management this Lacie"
"You have spot?"
"No sorry we are full?"
"No, you do have spot?"
"We do not have any rooms avaliable for fall and spring."
"I need spot, I live at you apartment?"
"No sorry."
more of the same conversation and than a similar student comes to door...

I remember why I am quitting.
A day goes by and I think I sure am going to miss my neighbors. I really like those students in number...
THAN
"You need to clean your bathroom, before you get you deposit back."
"I did"
Walk to bathroom
"This is not clean."
"Yes I clean it!"
"I am sorry but this is not clean."
"I clean it and roommate before he make it a mess and I clean it and now it clean..." Stop listening.
"Well you will not get all of your deposit, sorry."
"Blah blah blah" Is all I hear.

Yeah I am almost done!

I have loved managing, I love helping people that help themselves and I have loved becoming friends to some great people. I have learned a lot, how to get the worst stains out of showers and tubs, how often you should really deep clean to keep it clean, how to treat people even when you are stressed, I have learned that people born starting in 1985 slowly are getting lazier and more entitled (obviously not everyone, but it's becoming a trend.) and most human beings don't read any more.

If I am alive in September I will post again. ;)

Robinson Reunion

Robinson Reunion 2012 

 These two wonderful people are the reason we have this great family. Because they raised their children in righteousness and goodness we have an amazing family. A family with love and talents and a family with the gospel. I am so grateful for the love and testimony of these two people, I am eternally grateful to them for raising a man that I get to call my eternal companion. Love you Mom and Dad Robinson, thanks for staying at the Good Fellow House and being so dang wonderful.

 Grandpa Mike, telling us a story. What a great picture. 

 Aden was a little upset, but he's still so dang cute.

 We had a little talent show and it was a success. Lots of family members did something to share and it was great to see our family preform.

 Olivia just tried to drink Diet Coke, that's what she thinks is her new talent, drinking from a straw.

 There we are!

 Tay did some Shakespeare and he's good! Look at those beautiful mountains behind him. Sure is beautiful country.

 That's Ben doing some sweet moves.

 Zacky told us some great riddles and they were funny! :) Good job Zacky.

 Denim's girls sang us a song and it was funny, they were wonderful.

 Olivia gave kisses.

 There we are!

 Loving Aden

 Jace did a sweet head stand!

 M'Kala sang Come Thou Fount and it was beautiful.

Olivia LOVED swimming. We thought it would be too cold, but she just swam around. I can't wait to take her again!

Totally pooped after swimming, what a good daddy letting her take a rest by pool.

 The hot tub was a popular place the whole weekend.

This could be the coolest picture I have ever taken, this little guy is awesome!

 These are some of my favorite people and I am sure glad I get to be part of their family. (Picture above and below!)

 Aden decided he wanted to be in our family picture, I'll totally take him!

 Here we are with almost all our nephews we are missing a few, but it was a fun picture. We sure do love being an aunt and uncle. Being an aunt is totally on my top 5 roles.

 Time to get going, long fun weekends end up with tired kids.

 Bray and Olivia! Bray was such a great helper this weekend, he could totally move to Cedar and we would be SO HAPPY! He should convince his mom and dad. ;)

 The Robinson family is so supportive and loving towards Graydin and Alice, which is such a blessing. Since we were almost all together I stole an idea from our friends the Cranes and we made a wreath to put at their grave. We traced our hands and wrote something to them. It turned out cute! Thanks Claire, Lori and Lindy.

There it is our family hands! Love these kids and miss them everyday, luckily we have family that remember them too. It will be a great day when we can have a reunion with all of us. :)