Charles Graydin

Three years ago today I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I was so young and scared. My emotions were so tangled up in what I should and shouldn't feel and do that it's taken me a long time to celebrate Graydin's life the way I celebrate Alice's. Today I want to celebrate Graydin because he changed my life for the better and each day and forever he will continue to do so. He strengthened my testimony and helped me see the world in a different light. He taught me to love in away I never knew I could. He taught me how to be a mother even though it was hard for me to feel it was true. He always comforts me and today I say I love you Graydin!

These pictures are from Aunt Lindy. Thankfully she had pictures on her phone and was able to retrieve them for me. Thank you so much Lindy.

He is discolored one because he was very premature and two because he was in the birth canal for a long time. 
Graydin had a little body, but his spirit was bigger then anyones. He was full of life and purpose. He was determined and through the knowledge of the gospel I know that he is doing a magnificent work, a work that we can't imagine. He came and did what was needed to gain a body and he touched my heart so strongly that I will never forget the feelings I had after giving birth to him.

Our lives will never be the same. His life brought Tayce and I closer together, he strengthened us in ways we never thought possible, people came into our lives because of him (and Alice) that we feel honored to know and my knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ was strengthened. Families can be together for eternity and so many of you reading this know that and if you don't please know that our loved ones do not leave us when they die, they are waiting for us to be with them again. Through our righteousness we can live with our families forever and there is nothing I want more then to be with my angel babies again.

Happy Birthday Graydin! We love you with all of our hearts and are grateful for your goodness, for your spirit and for your love. Be with us we pray. We love you!

3 Months Old!

 

OH MY GOODNESS Miss Olivia is 3 months old! Can you believe it? I can't. What a journey we've been on. Every time I look into her wide bright eyes my heart melts and I feel overwhelmed with gratitude that Heavenly Father would allow Tayce and I be the parents of this miracle. I still don't know if it's really hit me, that I am at home with a baby who no one is going to come and pick up. She's mine! I am a happy girl!

Olivia is a growing girl. She is 5 pounds 9 ounces! and she is 17.5 inches long! She still looks pretty little, but she's huge to me! The outfit above is my favorite!

Aunt Joan she's wearing one of your hats you knitted for you, they are still too big, but she wore it for a little while. Love you Aunt Joan!

Olivia is a good sleeper! She loves to sleep, she must be related to her mom. :)

Hanging out with dad! In the morning she loves to be cuddled until she wakes up for real. Basically she's a cuddler.

She's growing! Here are some things she does at 3 months (adjusted age not born yet :)

• Loves to suck on her hands
• Tummy time is great and she tries to roll over, her arm is getting in her way
• She loves to wiggle! 
• Starting to be awake more and while she is she loves to be talked to and loves to look around
• Still trying to talk, but it's just not coming yet
• Nurses without a shield!!! (If you didn't know it's a big deal).
• Loves to hold on to things
• Doesn't like to be alone... that could be my fault or her wonderful NICU family, who we MISS!
• The TV is very interesting to her
• Won't sleep without sounds and a bit of light 
• Has had her first cold! She's dealing with it like a champ. 
• Loves sitting in her bouncy chair from Christie! :) 

There is probably a lot more, but I can't think of it. She's a great baby and we LOVE her so much. Happy 3 months birthday baby girl! 

Happy Birthday Alice

 My heart is so full of emotions that writing this is not the easiest thing to do, but I know through this blog I have coped much and hope and pray that it has helped someone.
On the morning of November 27th 2010 our beautiful Alice was born. Getting pregnant with her was such a blessing and we were so excited. We wanted to have her with us so much and when I went into labor our dreams were crashing all over again. It was like reliving the most horrible dream you've ever had again and again. Loosing Alice was hard and everyday for the last year I have missed her and loved her and yearned to be with her again. Her spirit was soft spoken and gentle, but she fought so hard and made a hard decision. She left this earth after only an hour and made it possible for Olivia to be here.

 Today I sit and remember my sweet Alice while I sit on my couch and look at my miracle, Olivia. My heart plays tug-a-war with emotions. The emptiness of not having Alice is still so real, but at the same time my heart over flows with gratitude for the miracle I get to hold in my arms everyday. In 9 months I said see you soon to Alice and please stay with me Olivia. In the last year and half I have went through two pregnancies and had two of the most beautiful baby girls a mom could ever ask for. In the last 3 months my heart has went every which way as I sat in the hospital, seeing babies the size of Alice live and my heart was going though a battle of emotions and what if's. And as I sat in Olivia's room and marveled at the miracle she is my heart was comforted and a sweet spirit reaffirmed to me that this was the plan. What a blessing it is to have the gospel in my life, what a blessing it is to KNOW that Alice is my daughter and she is with us everyday and loves us and because our Savior died for us to live again and the gospel was restored on the earth we get to be an eternal family. I would never be able to live without that knowledge. 

 Alice will always be in our hearts and on this day we say HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET ALICE, we love you and miss you every single day. I hope you are with Graydin and I hope you know I love you both with all my heart and I will do all I can to be with you again. You are not forgotten my sweet angel.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl! Your Mom and Dad love you so much! Until we meet again on that glorious day, be with me.

Update from HOME!

It is SO wonderful to be home. I LOVE Cedar City and love my home. It feels good to be here. Don't get me wrong I miss our NICU friends, they definitely made a mark in our lives.
Olivia is doing well, she is 5.5 pounds! She's getting huge. She had to go to the doctors on Wednesday to check out some congestion that she was having. She is good though, no RSV or infection. The doctor said her lungs sound good, just a little cold.
She loves to sleep and eat and when she can poop :) She loves hanging out with Dad and trying to roll over! She loves her baths and she doesn't love sunshine yet, but someday she will I just know it.

Here is our apartment. Tayce is cleaning up (what an amazing man I married).

Yes those are socks on her hands. Her hands are always cold and she won't keep them in a blanket, so when she kicked her socks off I figured I would put them on her hands. They lasted a lot longer on her hands then they did on her feet. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Grandma Nae got her this cute little outfit for Thanksgiving. It was a little big, but it was so cute for her to wear on Thanksgiving.

Caught this perfect frown on 'film'. I don't know why she was so sad, but she was. 

PHOTO SHOOT!

Love, love, love this little girl. She didn't love having a photo shoot, but she just had to deal with it.

This huge flower is dedicated to Dr. Ridout :) Hope he loves it.

I love that she fits in this little basket. She's darling!

Look at that blanket she's on. Her good friend Jenni made it for her! (Jenni is our friend too).

Happy Thanksgiving, Amy cooked like warrior and brought us Thanksgiving. Thank you friends for helping us have a great day.

Even at home she has this pose. She must have ate too much the day before or something. :)

NO TUBES OR STICKERS on her face. She needed a bath and her stickers needed to be changed so we figured we would take some pictures of her without. She is still on oxygen, we'll let you know when she's done with that.

Mom and Olivia

Her eyes are always popping out, her dad teases her, but she's cute no matter what!

Olivia finally got to officially meet Grandma D! She loved her, fell asleep and was super content. She sure does have some great grandmas!

This picture is dedicated to some of Olivia's greatest cousins. This stuffed animal was made by hand just for her by Braydon and Zach! Thanks guys!

Grandma Dicki, Tay and Olivia

There is an update for you! Hope you've enjoyed. We have enjoyed being home. We can't thank you all enough for all the prayers and love you've sent our way. We feel eternally blessed. We love you. Happy Thanksgiving (late :) 

Love Our Baby

Sweet Olivia is such a good baby. She makes me smile everyday. I am grateful to be a mother to such an amazing child. Love you Olivia!

Below there are 4 new posts. Her MRI post, her sleep over with mom and dad, getting ready to go home and HOME pictures! ENJOY

Our Miracle HOME

November 19th: Every few weeks or so I am going to put this blanket and this Cabbage Patch Doll down by Olivia so we can see how she is growing! :) Here she is.

Laying on the couch in her little chick outfit! So cute.

Tummy time on mom and dads bed! She is so fun to cuddle with in the morning when she wakes up.

Her first bath at home! November 19th given by my mom and I. She loves her bath tub from Kara! :)

Mom and Riley came to help us out in getting settled and 'moving' back in. Being away from home for almost 3 months takes a toll on the organization of things.

Sleeping with Grandma Nae

Sleeping in her bed! Thanks Grandma Jo for letting us have it here at home.

The first time Grandma Nae help Olivia, November 18th :)

This Post is Dedicated to the Fabulous Staff in the NICU!

Words are hard to find to describe the gratitude we have for the staff at Dixie Regional NICU. Because of their dedication to the babies that come into their unit we have our baby home. We have a healthy baby, without their assistance we would not have our baby home with us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts, thank you for all you do for all the babies and families that come into your unit. Thank you for involving families in your care and for loving those you help. We are grateful forever and ever. We love you!
There are many amazing people that are not pictured in this post, I am sorry you are not in this, but know there are many who could be if I got their pictures the day we left. :)

Rose and Olivia. Thank you Rose for supporting us and always being on our side.

Nurse V and Olivia with that beautiful blanket she knitted. Thank you Nurse V for your smile and your songs!

Dr. C and Olivia. We are so lucky to have had such amazing doctors to take care of her. Thank you Dr. C for always checking on Olivia and helping us when we had questions.

NNP Beckie and Olivia. This is a thank you to all of the NNP's in the unit. Thank you thank you thank you. What a pleasure to have gotten to know you and thanks for all you did for Olivia. Had fun chats and projects at all hours of the day. :)

Dr. Ridout and Olivia. Couldn't have gotten a cuter picture. Thanks Dr. Ridout for Olivia's first outside outing, for giving us information in English that we could understand, for making us laugh and loving her job so much.

Nurse M and Olivia. I could write paragraphs and paragraphs on how much we love the nurses in the unit. Thank you for taking care of our sweet baby, for taking care of me, for loving what you do and for making a difference in our lives forever. We love you so very much and we miss you already.

Nurse T and Olivia. Thanks to all you wonderful nurse who 'fought' over Olivia, it always made us smile and feel good about life. What a blessing it was to get to know those that we did get to know.

Nurse T, Me, Olivia and Nurse M. These are 2 of Olivia's favorite nurses, I think she already misses them.

In her car seat getting ready to go home. Thank you Nurse C for helping us get all the discharge stuff done and being so wonderful to us.

She has a lot of baggage. :) The stuff that has to come with her weighs more then her by a long shot.

In the car, buckled in and ready to go.

In the car, she woke up wide awake when we got off the Cedar exit. I sat in the back watching her the whole time because her monitor battery died before we got to the freeway. So I watcher her like a hawk! She did wonderful.

HOME!

There she is for her first picture in her house. Thank you NICU staff for making this moment possible. We couldn't have asked for a better situation (due to the fact we had to be in the hospital). Thank you thank you!