FINALLY FRIDAY

Can't believe it is already Friday. :) Days are going by fast and really I'm okay with that. I know that moms always tell me that they hate to wish away their babies lives, but everyday she gets older the happier I get. I want to remember every moment, but I also want the moment we go home to get here. :) I know it will, yesterday I heard the nurses already discussing Thanksgiving! That's sweet because that's about when we will start thinking about going home!
Today we had another head scan to check on her brain bleeds. They are looking about the same as last week, some are doing better which is good. Some of them the doctors are still concerned about, but all we can do is watch and wait. She is not showing any signs that her brain is effecting her right now. They thought that maybe the brain issues were causing her apnea issues, but once they put her back on the vent and she started breathing again and her apnea went almost all away it showed them that she was more tired. The doctors have told us that problems stemming from the brain do not come and go and they don't go away, so her apnea is not from the brain! Which was wonderful news. So, what we do now is just keep praying and and waiting and watching. She is doing so well and trying to grow!

Daddy got to hold Olivia this afternoon (actually as I am typing this he is holding her! That's the only way I could get the computer :) They are awfully cute together and she is doing so well. She knows her Daddy that is for sure. Tay was telling me that it was more important for me to hold her then him, but I think I disagree. I think she needs us both to hold her and love on her.

From up and awake to taken a little snooze!

This is me holding yesterday. I got to hold her again for more then 2 hours. She is liking this holding stuff which is a dream come true. I was afraid she might be like a little friend of mine who spent some time in the NICU who didn't like to be  held. ;) That little ladybug knows who she is.
But if you look close to the picture above you can see those little eyes!  So I cropped it to show you her eyes really are open! Thank you nurse M for the great picture.

There is our little beauty with her adorable hat on. It is now her holding hat, so she doesn't get cold. But those eyes are wide open and she loves to look around. I tell you when she is looking around she looks right at me and sometimes she smiles. I don't know if it is involuntary, but I think is is a little heavenly hug telling me "I love you mom" I just have to believe that. Yesterday I was singing "You Are My Sunshine" and she smiled! She knows that's her song. She is my sunshine and I smile every moment I think of her and thank my Heavenly Father for letting me her mom.

I'm Growing Big!

This morning I came into Olivia's room to a great surprise! She is up to 1 lb. 13 oz. and very content with life right now. She had some ups and downs the last few days, but such is life for a wee little one. They tried to put her back on the CPAP, but she only lasted a day on it. She told everyone loud and clear that she was not ready to do all the work when it came to breathing. She was going apnic over and over, so they put her back on the vent. Now she's have little to no apnea spells and growing like a weed! She got her PICC line out so one less wire, which is another good thing. Her getting rid of that is a good thing because that means no more infection! She hasn't had a fever or any labs come back with any signs of an infection. So, our little one is getter better.

Miss Olivia is wearing a fashionable hat made by Kayce and it's adorable. This is me holding her Wednesday night and it was wonderful. We sat together for 2 1/2 hours and loved it. The night before was a horrible experience because her CPAP was falling out and pulling at her nose and she was uncomfortable and it was so sad to see her so unhappy, but it was all good when we got to have a great experience the next night. I don't know if I am going to know what to do when I can hold her without the help of several people. :)

This is our Princess after she got the vent put back in. Anytime we would try to do anything in her bed or talk this is what she would do. So this is her I'm done leave me alone pose.

It is super hard to get this little one with her eyes open so this was as good as it gets as of now. Believe me though she is wide eyed and adorable. I love it when she looks around and when you talk to her she looks at you like I know your voice. It is so sweet and I LOVE it.

This is a different day, but again she loves her I'm done with the day pose. :) Makes us smile and the nurses too.

She was happy as can be laying on her belly this morning. Thank you Nurse W and Nurse M for taking such good care of her the last few days!

Really I love her more and more every single day. Some days in this place are so very hard and I get so down, but really I look her alive and growing and it all melts away that she is here and doing so well. She is amazing and the people that help her everyday are too. What a blessing it is to have this modern medicine to help this sweet baby and thank goodness for prayers and faith of so many family and friends. My testimony is strengthened by you all and I am grateful for your love and support. We love you so much!
P.S. I should of taken a picture of my car and put it up because it's having more troubles then Olivia. We got it to the car last night and it was having some struggles starting. It could be a battery issues and it isn't an alternator issues, so we are hoping it's not starter issues, but I'll let you know. She's at Lloyd's in Cedar right now getting a check up.
And Tayce just called me as I was typing this to tell me what is wrong. The battery was leaking on things which was causing some issues, but it is a lot better then a starter issue. Thank goodness!

Video!

Hope this works, I've never done a video on blog before. Here is our little miss at 14 days old!

2 Weeks and 1 Day Old!

Sorry for the delay in a post. There's been a few crazy days and it's hard to get to the computer and the internet at the same time. Last night I was going to post, but I got to hold Miss Olivia. Which, really it's so much better to hold her then post. :)

 Miss Olivia is still on the Ventilator which is helping her breath. She has decided to be tired. She's tired because she had a no good very bad day the other day.
She was intubated (put on the vent) because she was acting a little sick and not breathing, she acted tired so they gave her a break.
She then had a fever of 100.5
Which means she had to have labs, which came back that she had an infection.
Started an IV with anti-biotic
More and more blood labs. 
Stopped peeing, had to figure that out and had to have a pee bag thing to check her urine.
Had a spinal tap to make sure no infection got to her spine. (Thankfully no infection)
Got an IV in her head.
Had to get another PICC (a central line for her medicine)
Now she's just hanging out and still acting a little sick. We are just waiting for her to perk back up and get better!  

 Wanted to show off her full head of hair! It is beautiful and I love it!

 There is little miss sitting with Mom! She loves being held and really I love holding her. :)

 Mom and Olivia

Nurse B found her a flower to wear! SO cute! She had a little bit of a chubby face this day because she had an IV in her head so some of the fluid made her face a little chubby, it was cute. But, I was very happy when they took the IV out!

Dad taking a little nap! It was Sunday so I don't blame him. :)

 Olivia's little hat from Auntie Joan! It's so little which is good that means she's big!

Olivia's second hat from Auntie Joan! It is the perfect size for when she goes home! :)

OH AND HER EYES ARE OPEN! Can you see a little? I'll try to get a better picture of her eyes open.

11 Days Old and Beautiful

Another day and she's as strong as a 1 pound baby can be. She has been on the machine called the CPAP since she was 2 days old. This machine just helped remind her to breath and did some assisting, but she has been doing most of the work. Today she is being intubated which means she is going back on a machine to breath for her. The reason for this is mostly because with the CPAP her belly gets full of air and it makes it hard to breath and especially hard to keep her food down. She has been dealing with a lot of spit ups and belly aches. This is a little unfortunate, but really expected. We are surprised she made it so long with out having to do this. This machine will help her belly have a break so maybe she can put some weight on and get a little stronger.

Here she is 10 days old laying in her bed.

This is what I see when I sit by her. A lot of stuff everywhere. This is 11 days old.

See how her baby is so big, that is air making it do this. Babies this little have a hard time get bubbles out so they just get stuck in there and give her a rough time.

Tayce hanging out with his little girl.

Here I am, I spend much of my time sitting next to my sweet Olivia. I love her so very much. Keep being strong and hanging on my sweet baby. LOVE YOU! 

Brain scan update. Primary Children's hospital got back to us about the original scan. There is a bleed that is measuring at a level 4, which isn't good, but the bleed looks like it happened before birth which is better news. Her reactions and behaviors are not that of a baby with a level 4 bleed. They are hoping that maybe the brain is rewiring her and fixing the problem.The place of the bleed would effect her legs and movement of them, but she moves and wiggles her legs all the time, so things are looking good. They will just have to keep watching her closely. She has a scan scheduled for tomorrow (Friday the 9th) and then we will continue to watch and pray.

They just finished her intubation and she is doing great and her belly is deflating :) I get to hold her so got to go!

My Heart Just Melts

Tonight Tay is holding sweet Olivia! This is his first time holding her and she loves it! It just melted my heart to see the nurses put her in his arms. What a sweet memory that I will remember forever. On September 6th at 8pm Tay got hold his little girl for the first time. I have the most amazing husband and children in the whole world. I love you Tayce thank you for being the most wonderful husband and father to our children.

He had to put a robe on! Tee hee. That is why he is making that face at me. What a silly boy.

Here are the nurses and the respiratory therapist getting Olivia and Tay all situated.

Tay holding his little lady.

Precious

Happy Dad and Happy Olivia :)

9 Day Old and She's Hold'n On!

Well Folks sorry for the delay in a new post. Tayce was gone for almost 5 days! And he had the computer so I didn't get a chance so update, but here I am sitting in Olivia's room with her giving you all an update.
Olivia is doing great! She had a hard few days while Tay was gone (I think she missed her daddy). On Friday morning she was not wanting to breath and I sat by her side all morning just helping her remember (trying to stimulate her by touching her feet or back and talking to her). It was a hard day, it was the first time she had really done anything beside just be wonderful and amaze everyone. These episodes lasted a few days and it was hard (but very very normal for her age, it takes these little ones a few weeks to remember that breathing isn't optional). Some things that helped her out: holding her :), feeding her continuously a little at a time instead of all at once (because she was spitting up and puking which was making it hard for her to breath), we've been making sure to suction out her mouth, changed her breathing machine (still on CPAP just another machine with it to help stimulate her breathing, so she's always getting at least 30 breaths a minute) and tilted her up a little so she wasn't laying flat (this helps her bubbles come out). After changes and Tayce coming home, she's been doing a lot better.
Brain scan update: Dr. R has sent her scan to Primary Children's Hospital to have their people look at it and tell him what they see. There is no one is St. George that specializes in neonatal scans, so we are just waiting for the response. They will do another scan Thursday or Friday and again let Primary's look at it and then we will have a better answer about how much bleeding and things. Thus far we are keeping our fingers crossed that all is well, because she is acting so well.

Tayce talking to his little lady. She loves him so much. Her stats are great when he is with her. He came home Monday night and read her a story and had family prayer. It was so sweet and it made me love him even more. He is so sweet and loving and loves her so much. HE'S GONNA HOLD HER TODAY!

On Monday Olivia got to switch from the prongs up her nose to a little mask that helps her keep breathing.(She'll be on both back an forth) She was so happy to give her little pig nose a rest. (The prongs stretch out her nostrils a bit and when they take them out she looks like a pig). While this was all going on her Dr. was in helping and asked if she had pictures with my ring yet. I told him no because I didn't have my ring until just recently. He said give it here and took my ring and started a little photo shoot with her. It was great. Here she is and she didn't want to let go, she already likes diamonds. :)

Olivia has amazing people taking care of her. This is Dr. R and Nurse S. They take such good care of her and me! I feel so blessed to have such amazing people around me.

Here is our little princess. She makes the saddest faces. She got to have her mask off for just a minute and so we took the opportunity to take a picture. The best part is that she kept breathing and her stats stayed good! She's pretty much amazing! Her face is still a little bruised, but if you pushed your way through a cervix with a stitch in it you would too! Oh, and see how her nose it a little piggy? It is from her nose prongs that help her to breath.

Here we are! I get to hold her almost everyday! It is so wonderful, but a little stressful. It takes a lot of work and a few people to get everything just right so we can sit there safely. She loves to sit with me though, which makes me SO happy! On Sunday night I held her for over 2 hours and she did wonderful! It was so great to feel like a mom and kiss and love on her. Being in here has been an adjustment and will continue to be one. I've been waiting for a little while to have a baby stick around and now I do, I feel so grateful, but it is so hard. This is not what you expect or think of when you think of being a mom, but really I'll take it. She is beautiful and amazing and I love her so much.

Grandma Nae got to come and spend 4 days with us while Tayce was gone. It was good to not be all alone while I was having some major stress and anxiety issues with Tay gone. She is a good mom and took care of me. Thanks mom for all the fun and for taking care of me.

Here is more of her diamonds! This puts things in perceptive a bit. I am proud to say that she is too big to wear my ring on her wrist or ankle! That makes me feel good. :)

Well, friends and family here is the update. I hope that you like the pictures. We totally love her and can't wait until she gets to meet and be with all her many followers. Your prayers are certainly helping her a lot. We can tell that we are strengthened by all of you. Thank you so much my heart is full and I hope that some day I can repay you all for your love and support. Thank you so much! Love you all and we'll get pictures of dad holding Miss Olivia tonight and get them up. :)

4 Days Old!

My feelings are all over the place right now. My whole entire heart is overwhelmed with gratitude for this miracle in our lives, for all the love and compassion we've been shown by our friends, family and the staff at the hospital and for the blessing that come to us everyday.
Olivia has been doing SO good, we are so proud of her and the doctors describe her as "a rock star", "awesome" and "amazing" which makes Tayce and I very happy. The people at the hospital are wonderful and they care so much about all the babies in here. We are so very grateful for them. She has had a few hiccups, which is very expected. She had her IV's in her belly button, but because of some risks and placement issues she had to get a pick line in her little hand. It amazes me that they can get an IV in her little hand, but not in mine! :) She also had to have a blood transfusion because her little body does not produce enough for her and all the tests she has to have. So, the transfusion will help her keep her energy up so she can keep growing! She's also had some blood in her  urine, but she's sorta a little mystery right now. All her labs are coming back clear and great, her X-ray and ultrasounds are coming back clear. They are watching her closely, but thus far she's doing well. She is now on the CPAP machine, which is better for her then the ventilator and she is doing really well breathing with less assistance. The new machine looks scary and uncomfortable, but it is better for her. I came in yesterday morning and just cried because she looked so helpless and I couldn't do anything.
It is a difficult task to finally get a baby her and say "I'm a MOM!" but not get to do much at all. I have to just stay positive and remember that I am doing all that I can for her. I get to pump and she gets my milk through her feeding tube and I sing You Are My Sunshine to her everyday and pray more then I've ever prayed and I even get to hold her! She's an amazing girl and I am ecstatic that I get to say she's mine.
Thank you so much for all your love and support and prayers. My words cannot express how much you strengthen our little family and how blessed I feel that we have so many people cheering for us. We appreciate it and love you all. Have a great long labor day weekend! And I must give a little shout out to a very special person in my life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHER! WE LOVE YOU AND ARE SO PROUD OF YOU! KEEP UP THE HARD WORK IN SOUTH CAROLINA AND KNOW WE THINK OF YOU OFTEN AND YOU HAVE A LITTLE GIRL THAT IS SO EXCITED TO MEET HER UNCLE TYLER!

Our 1st family picture! Look at all that hair she has! Got to hold her on 8/30.

There I am with many blanket over sweet Olivia, making sure she stays warm.

She LOVES to wiggle her feet and stretch them out. Her feet look like her daddy's! And her second toe is longer then her big toe, that's gotta be from her dad and Grandma Nae!

Here she is propping her foot up on her knee just chilling.

This is the new machine, it is hard to look at, at least for me but she is well. Her stats have been good and the doctors are very happy with her.

Last, but not least her are my HUGE SWOLLEN feet and ankles! I got to our room last night and felt tired and my feet felt tight and not so great. I sat down and there they were. I sorta freaked out a little. This has never happened before, but Tay says I've been doing too much and that's why. We'll see what happens. 

Last little update for you all. I am not coming home for a long time. I will miss Cedar and make appearances when I feel comfortable with Olivia and I's schedule, but St. George is my temporary home. We are staying at the Jubilee home across the street from the hospital (right by the temple!). Tayce is going to be doing some reverse commuting. He will be going to Cedar to do his internship and apartment stuff and then coming back here to spend the evening and mornings with Olivia and I. We love you and certainly will miss our Cedar comrades!