I don't know if this is the time I should be doing this, but as I sit in my house and mourn the 2nd loss of a beautiful baby I feel the need to get some of the emotions out.
Here is Alice's Story
On Thanksgiving I was having a really emotional day. I was almost the same amount of weeks with Alice as with Graydin, we were in Kanab and everything was so familiar. There were so many emotions coming back and it was hard. I kept thinking I am being so silly, but I was emotional and didn't feel good, so I went back to my room and cried.
I woke up Friday feeling a little better. We went to Tayce's Mom and Dad's house to be with the family. We went on a walk with two of our nephews and when we got back I felt some cramping, I thought it was because of the walk and being so active the last few days so I disregarded them. At about dinner time I was getting uncomfortable, Tayce took me to our room and called our doctor, the labor and deliver told him to have me take Tylenol and take a bath, it wasn't working so we went to the hospital.
At the hospital the contraction were coming strong and I was upset, "I can't do this again"
I kept telling Tayce. I tried so hard to keep my faith and keep hoping for a better outcome. Dusty and Lori came to help Tay give me a blessing and hang out with us. In Kanab they do not have the facilities to do much, so the doctors discussed transporting me to SLC, but in the end the ambulance came and got me and took Tayce and I to St. George. We had a fantastic crew that came and got us and helped so much. They were so hopeful and helped me stay calm. What a blessing they were to us.
When we got to St. George they tried everything to stop the contraction and tried to figure out what was going on, but I was dilating. The doctor gave us the option to keep stopping them and try and keep her in as long as possible, but my white blood cell count kept coming back with more, which is a sign of infection. If there is an infection small babies would not make it, so we had to just let my body take course.
At 8:22am on Saturday I delivered our beautiful little girl with Tayce and Lindy by my side. She was so beautiful and was moving and making noises. She lived for almost an hour and her daddy was able to give her a name and blessing with Jess. It was beautiful and an amazing experience to hold her in my arms and let her hold my finger. We named her Alice Jolene and got to be with her all day.
We were able to give her a bath and put clothes on her. We had amazing nurses that helped us so much. They took her and took pictures of her and did molds of her hand and feet. They made me a box with all of her things in it and made it a special experience. Our hearts our so full for the love we felt from the doctor and nurses there.
The emotions we are having right now are so scrambled. It is hard to believe that almost to the date 2 years ago we were doing the same thing with our Graydin, but we were. It is hard to believe that it could happen again, but it did. We miss her so much already and will everyday of our lives, just like Graydin.
We pray for the strength to keep going. We are grateful for all of our family and friends who help us so very much. We are so so appreciative of the doctors and nurses that did SO much for us and made our experience the best it could be. We have to thank Dusty and Lori for getting up in the middle of the night to hang out with us in the hospital in Kanab, and Jess and Lindy for coming and being by our side again during this trying time and for my mom driving down here to take care of us again. We are blessed to have such amazing people in our lives and hope that you know we love and appreciate you in our lives.
We will be having services for Alice in Kanab this coming week. We will post more information as we know it.
Tay and I walking into DISNEYLAND!
Here is Cole, Courtney, Beau and MaLynda they actually got in and boogie boared in that cold water.
Colby and Alyssa riding the Peter Pan ride! It's a good one.
There I am by the Alice and Wonderland rides!
This Costco cake said Payce on it when we went to pick it up. I made them change it. Tay said we didn't have too, but it's his birthday it should at least say his name right.
Here is little Becka playing with the party favors! She is a doll that is for sure! And she loves Tayce.
We had many children over for Tay's party. It was great all of our best buddies hanging out together. The only problem is they all think my toys are their toys, so they were in for a surprise when they were all together.
There is my adorable handsome amazing husband. He is the best man a woman could ask for. I hope he had a great day and I apologize to him for being such a slacker on posting his party. I love you Tay. :)
Halloween was fun. We went to Emerald Pointe and had a party with the Service Leaders and the residents there. We made masks and decorated pumpkins. On Sunday we made dinner in a pumpkin and fed some staving college students.
October has just been a busy month. We also got to participate in Make a Difference Day on October 23rd. We helped at a community carnival where all the proceeds went to the new shelter being built in Cedar. It was so much fun and a lot of our friends came. I even got to win some prizes!
I was able to have a girls day at Brenda's house! We talked and sewed and ate! We also helped with a belly cast... it was pretty cool. Thanks Brenda for being so dang amazing. :)
I get the opportunity to tend one of the cutest little boys in the world. He is one of my best friends pretty much. We play at the park, watch Cars, go to McDonald's, watch big trucks, go to dance classes he even hangs out with me if I have to go into work. He definitely is a champion for handling me all the time. Thanks Cody and Kristen for trusting me with your little one, we sure do love to hang out.
OH, don't you worry I got Beauty and the Beast the day it came out and I've watched it more then I can count on my fingers. It's still my favorite. Love you Tay for spoiling me so much and for loving me!
We never had a picture like this with Graydin. This looks crazy, but there she is. Our tech's name was Lacee and her maiden name is Robinson. Funny huh!
We thought this was a pretty cute picture. I think she might end up looking like Tayce a little, just like Graydin did.
